Children’s author Essence Vance urges gentler conversations about childhood grief

Ahead of National Grief Awareness Day on Aug. 30, Philadelphia author and trauma-informed facilitator Nadiyah “Essence” Vance is asking parents and caregivers to give children space to grieve in their own ways. Her book “Sister My Sister” draws from the death of her sister and her 15-plus years in human services to guide families through loss.

Why it matters: - Children often grieve differently than adults expect, shifting between sadness, questions, play and imagination. - Parents and caregivers may need practical tools to start conversations about death, remembrance and healing. - Vance’s message lands ahead of National Grief Awareness Day on Aug. 30, when families and educators may be especially open to grief support resources.

What happened: - Nadiyah “Essence” Vance, a Philadelphia-based author and trauma-informed human-services professional, is using the lead-up to National Grief Awareness Day to encourage families to talk more openly with grieving children. - Vance said adults often feel pressure to find the “perfect words” when a child loses someone they love, but children may need patience, reassurance and permission to grieve their own way. - Vance explores that experience in her poetry-format children’s book, “Sister My Sister.” - The book follows a young girl who retreats into playful imagination after losing her sister and gradually learns that love and memories remain. - Vance says the book was inspired by her own grief after the death of her sister, Ms. Aliya “Unique” Vance, in 2021 at age 46. - Vance dedicated the book to her sister’s memory.

The details: - “Sister My Sister” centers on a child who processes loss with support from her parents and her faith. - Vance said the book is meant to be a gentle starting point for family conversations about love, loss and remembrance. - Vance has more than 15 years of experience in human services. - Her workshops and educational programs for children and families use age-appropriate, trauma-informed activities. - Those programs focus on identifying emotions, communicating feelings and developing healthy coping practices. - Vance’s programs also include creative expression, group exercises, grief and loss support, self-reflection, resource sharing and discussions about healing. - Vance advises adults to listen without rushing a child toward closure. - She also advises families to revisit questions over time and not assume laughter or play means grief has ended. - Books, drawing, poetry and other creative activities can help children express emotions they cannot yet explain directly. - Vance said children deserve to know their feelings are welcome, that remembering someone is healthy and that they do not have to carry grief alone. - Vance added that children can always turn to God. - National Grief Awareness Day is observed each year on Aug. 30 to encourage greater understanding of grief and the different ways people respond to loss. - More information about “Sister My Sister,” Vance’s workshops and her other educational programs is available at everythingessencewix.org.

Between the lines: - Vance is framing grief support as both emotional and practical, with storytelling and creative expression as entry points for families who do not know what to say. - The focus on faith, memory and trauma-informed care suggests an approach aimed at both comfort and long-term coping. - The timing ahead of National Grief Awareness Day gives the message a built-in moment for attention, outreach and caregiver reflection.

What's next: - Vance will continue promoting “Sister My Sister” alongside workshops and educational programs for children and families. - Families looking for support can use the book and related activities as a starting point for grief conversations before and after Aug. 30. - National Grief Awareness Day on Aug. 30 may prompt renewed discussion about how children process loss and what adults can do to help.

The bottom line: - Vance’s message is simple: children need permission, patience and safe ways to talk about grief — not pressure to grieve like adults.